When I worked at the grocery store, there was a gentleman older than me that I got along with and who I could tell anything too. He’s one of those individuals that are hard to find now a days. After years of friendship, he decided to take his own life.
I’ll never forget the day I went into work when it happened. People crowded around me as I punched into the time clock. You see, I’d hangout and work with this gentleman several hours a week.
First it was my best friend then it was my future wife who told me the news. My friend and co-worker had taken his life the night before with a shotgun. I attended his funeral wondering what signs I missed, what could I have done to prevent this tragedy?
Sometimes, I run what if scenarios through my head to try to bring him back but no matter what I do, he’s gone from this realm of existence. There will always be a bit of guilt on my part for not recognizing something that may have saved his life. At the time, everything seemed just fine and this individual was hard to get personal information out of.
If you know someone who’s committed suicide, please don’t feel guilty and put the burden on your shoulders. It’s a choice the individual made and it’s likely their mind was made up well in advance.
Society sometimes looks at suicide as a way out, an end to all that is shitty in their life. Some may also consider it a cop-out or a selfish act of desire. Unless you’ve been at the brink, that point where you decide if you live or die, who are you to judge?
I sometimes dream it, think it, wonder it, but it’s the same conclusion every time. My good friend is gone and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I’ve thought about it but have never reached the point of doing it.
Please don’t put yourself in a depressive state because someone you know has taken their life. It’s sad yes, but if you put guilt on your shoulders at the same time, it will likely drive you into an unhealthy state of mind. Be strong, support loved ones who cared for the individual, and be the light in a time of darkness.